My Pilates Backstory

My Pilates backstory begins with my twenty-five year old self combing through the modest fitness section of my local book store looking for something, anything, that could fix the persistent back pain I’d had since giving birth (a connection I hadn’t yet made.)

Did I mention I was rifling for this back cure with a baby in a sling across my chest and a toddler on one hip? Genius.

Finding the Order…

This was when I discovered a life-changing read: The Pilates Body by Brooke Siler. It was 1999 and the only thing I knew about Pilates was that the cast of Friends had tried it. That fact alone was enough to make me roll my eyes and dismiss it as not hardcore enough. I was feeling weak and so of course needed to train that much harder… I thought.

But a quick thumb-through revealed intriguing illustrations that still come to my mind today when I root my hips to the mat and twist upward like a tree in Spine Twist or when I imagine the rouindness my body in Rolling Like a Ball. It was movement fueled by imagination and so different from the extremes of vapid women’s magazine workouts and over-the-top P90x programs that were popuIar at the time. I had to try it and -Wow!- it was challenging! But in a completely different way.

Apparently, my routine of running, pushups, pull-ups, crunches, and cardio kickboxing was not the total sum of “fitness.” I often over-trained and always had a nagging fear that I would be unwell and weak, as my mother had been, if I slowed down. It was part of how I disconnected my mind from your body to function. After 15 minutes of beginner Pilates exercises, that required a level of concentration I’d never before applied to my body, I realized I was not the athlete I had once believed myself to be. I also noted that I had zero back pain.

This is a very dramatic turn-around and may not be everyone’s experience but through the years I have heard and read that it is shared by many. As long as I did the mat exercises, I felt pretty good. I didn’t understand why, at that time, but I didn’t need to.

… Then Losing It.

A few years into my mat practice I became certified to teach beginner and intermediate mat through a classical teacher training program. However, there was no studio near me that would allow me to teach the exercises in their order to the people’s needs in front of me. The studio landscape was radically different than it is today. I didn’t want to memorize a video each week and perform the routine for a mixed group of 30 that I couldn’t even see from my spot on the floor. The club videos didn’t even have that much Pilates in the “Pilates.” So I stepped back from my teaching ambitions. I was also encouraged by a well-meaning doctor to stop Pilates to prevent migraines.

I went on to other things, always attacking every movement strategy, every method of eating as if my life depended on it. I thought it did. Slowly my sacral pain came back and the migraines worsened and I went through one of those hard seasons in family life. There were many nights that I fell into bed exhausted after doing nothing but driving, sitting, and be ingwith older family members. How I wish I’d had my Pilates practice during those years of grief.

By the time I turned 49 I was not the same. My movement was very limited was constantly frustrated by pain and injury. I’d collected a good deal of movement “baggage.” A good day was one where I could walk the dogs a little. I felt like life had blown though me and left me broken.

Returning to Life

Quitting Pilates did not seem to help my body at all, so why not pull out my little spiral notebook of Pilates exercises- the one with the little stick figures scribbled in the margin to quickly jog my memory? It felt like looking at an old diary: a hefty dose of déjà vu mixed with a little embarrassment. Why did I think I could make this into a career?

When I began my Hundred pumps, my brain kicked on. After the Series of 5, I remembered what to do, but my body was wobbly and couldn’t catch up. By the time I reached Leg Pull Back it cried, “Uncle!” and I collapsed to the floor, laughing. I’m not exaggerating when I say I felt some elation. My body clearly needed this working over and the old curiosity was stoked. I also felt very excited. You don’t always get to do something like this for the first time, twice. I was at such a physical low, the only path forward for me was upward.

The next few months I built my daily mat practice and ordered a reformer. I began to reconnect with my body and was feeling stronger than 25 year old me. I signed up for a live OPC event at Aign East in Austin and experienced the chair for the first time in a workshop, surrounded by Pilates teachers.

Becoming a Forever Student

I realized I wanted to do this- to teach other people what I was learning and provide the environment and tools for experimentation. I knew I would never be finished learning about the human body and how Pilates is movement that heals, but I didn’t have to know it all to help others find their own practice.

However, I was bringing something new to my practice that I did not have as a twenty-something. I had lived through chronic pain and weakness and was experiencing Joe’s genius in moderation and economy of movement- how 10 plus reps are entirely unnecessary in Pilates. (Seriously, 3 to 4, continue with the order, and you’ll still get the best workout of your life.) I was learning the difference between getting a burn and being burned out. I was learning the secret to physical fitness that I couldn’t get by trying every trend or punishing my body into submission. I was returning to life.

I also really, really wanted a Wunda Chair.

I powered through a year of training, mentoring, and practice teaching in order to get my comprehensive certification through Balanced Body in 2025. I then began working and entered the Elevate classical mentoring program. They were some of the hardest thing I have ever done, but at no point did I want to quit. I had passed the point of learning just for myself. I was now learning for your sake, too. Your potential needs and learning styles were on my mind. How could I make learning a smoother experience for you? How could I help you create a Pilates practice that adapts to doctor’s orders rather than evaporating, like mine did?

Learning With you

I see God’s hand in all of my life experiences, guiding me toward joy. But I no longer see these physical stages as just my own, they are also fuel for understanding where you may be in your body: frustrated as your athletic goals are hampered by injury, or beginning to feel hopeless of ever moving without pain. Maybe you’re afraid to let your body guide your movement practice after years of “No pain, no gain.” or are so disconnected from your own body, due to pain or trauma, you wouldn’t know how to listen to it or what “connected” would feel like. Or maybe you’re just curious. We have some things in common.

I want to help you find your strength, from the inside out- to help you learn “your exercises” and re-learn joy in movement. I also am here to support your practice at every stage of life. I am a lifelong learner, so let’s learn together!